An Iowa Mom

(I am posting this the night before, because contrary to what I write in this post, I'm really putting the boys on the bus, dropping the girls at a sitter, and meeting all my friends for vermosa's to celebrate FREEDOM and I won't be here to submit my post to TT :) )

Today is the first day of school for my boys. Not their "first" first ... but they are going back. One entering 3rd grade the other 1st. I know my emotions will be all over the map ... so I decided to list them. It's no wonder I hate roller coasters, eh?

1. When I wake, I know I'll be very anxious. The first day of school is not only crazy and choatic for the kids ... mothers have to get back into packing lunches, making sure the children have underwear on (and they're clean), assuring themselves backpacks are packed with everything their child may need over the course of the day. It just goes on and on ... a mother's work is never done, is it?

2. A tremendous sense of sadness will come over me as we walk out the door and take "First Day Of School Photos" on the front porch. I will remain in this state the entire time the children stand (or run around like wild animals ... that would be PeeNee. Some embarrassment at my child's behavior may creep into things, but it won't last long) We always arrive at the bus stop several minutes too early, we are either afraid of being late, or the bus driver is running behind due to all the parents like me wanting to snap photos of our children stepping onto the school bus. Either way, the bus will eventually show up and I will be forced to say goodbye. The sadness continues as the boys push me away from hugs and kisses. Heaven forbid I "touch", let along speak to, them in front of their friends. (Yes, it starts this early).

3. Both kids will climb the stairs of the bus with backpacks almost bigger than they are. There will be no tears. They won't even look back. They are confident little boys. I will take pride in knowing I've raised them to be that way, and that I wouldn't want it any other. I will miss them, but I know they'll be okay without me for the next 8 hours.

4. The bus will disappear from my sight, with my children sitting inside ... not strapped in seat belts. In the hands of a driver I've never met, but have to trust, because the school district says so. Fear is what I'll feel ... but only for a brief moment. I do trust our district and their decisions on who will take care of my children ... they've never given me a reason not to.

5. As I walk with my husband and girls down the sidewalk back to our home, a bit of resentment will wash over me as AnIowaDad hops right in the car and leaves me to deal with the girls and ALL MY EMOTIONS all by myself. What is he thinking? I'm not this strong. Going from 4 kids (and all their friends) to just 2 is a big shift in life for me. Should I be left to do it alone, just so he can ... go to work? Earn a living? Support us? Whatever!

6. In the front window I'll stand ... watching him too ... leave ... drive away ... and leave me here. My face may turn a slight shade of green with envy as I think about him having a life outside this house, with other people besides me. The jerk ... how dare he?

7. The girl's and I will come in, get settled ... probably color or play dolls. They'll get bored with me and Princess will want to watch "her shows" (Sprout), then I'll sign on to to Internet and read my favorite blogs feeling so appreciative that I am able to stay home and raise my kids ... signing on to the Internet when I wish. There are pro's and con's to being a SAHM ... this is one of the pro's. :)

8. Lunch is served and cleaned up. The girl's (or should I say GIRL) will go down for naptime. Princess no longer naps. I guess she feels she is too good for napping. Regardless, sleep or no sleep, AnIowaMom insists on "QUIET TIME" so she has an hour or so to herself. Completely to herself. This will be the first day this has happened in 2 1/2 months. Oh the joy ... the love ... the lonliness. What is AnIowaMom supposed to do with no boys asking to swim, for a snack, to play ball, to have a friend over, to play Monopoly Jr or Checkers? What is a Mom to do? I miss my boys! Princess ... did you fall asleep? Wake up!

9. Quiet time is over and there is only a few minutes left until the school bus pulls back around and deposits my children where it picked them up. The roar of the engine can be heard a half mile away as it stops and starts releasing kids into their parents waiting arms. As the big yellow bus comes to a hault at our stop, happiness overwhelmes me as both the kids allow me to hug them. (Can you believe it, I am actually allowed to TOUCH them in public!) They must have missed me too, though I'm sure they'll never admit it.

10. Sporty is my "Tell All" and he will inform me that PeeNee has misbehaved on the bus and has been assigned an special seat in front for the next 2 weeks. Nothing new, as he was in an assigned seat the ENTIRE year last year, however, anger rises within me. The hope that he had grown up just a bit to withstand the urge to act out or just be a rebellious 1st grader, will slowly diminish as I realize he'll always be my PeeNee ... the sweet, caring, LOUD, OBNOXIOUS, child I love so much.

11. The family will all sit together for dinner, as we do every night. I'll have to display patience as the children try to yell and scream over each other, wanting to tell us about their day. Hate to say it, but most of the conversations will be zoned out and beautiful pictures of the beaches in Riveria Maya, Mexico will be replaced in AnIowaMom's head. What's a Mom to do?

12. Homework is done. Books have been read. It's time to snuggle up after a nice warm shower and get into bed. Hugs are given and prayers are said. Love is the only thing felt as I tuck my children in, whispering to them how much they mean to me. They are my life.

13. Quite falls upon our house. This in itself is a rarity, except for after 9pm. I will fall onto the couch to watch the latest Primetime, 48 Hours Mystery ... or whatever is on Court TV. Really, if it's on ... I'll finish up the Cubs game, just because I like to watch them lose. NOT. I really don't ... but after 9 years as a Cubs fan, I'm getting used to it. EXHAUSTION! That's the only word I have for you at this point. Good night, I say, as my eyelids begin to fall.

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